The Words Less Spoken

Successful parenting, as "they" say, is 8% patience, 22% common sense, 14% genetic roulette, 13% yelling, 18% luck, 6% tolerance for foul substances and sleep deprivation, 3% television, 8% wise and memorable parental-style nuggets of advice, and 18% what you don't say. The same formula applies to marriage, by the way, although you need to swap out "moods” for “substances”, “sex" for “wise parental-style nuggets of advice, and "telling your wife she looks great no matter what she is wearing" for “genetic roulette”. Anyway, it is the “what you don’t say” category of the parenting formula that is the focus of today's post:

The scene: Me, in shower, 6:30 a.m., Owen peeing in toilet 3 feet away;

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[NOTE FROM REDPLANET: THE MIDDLE OF THIS PREVIOUSLY POSTED ENTRY HAS BEEN DELETED AT THE REQUEST OF THE REDPLANET POSTING STANDARDS BOARD, SO YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO LET YOUR IMAGINATION TAKE IT FROM HERE - SORT OF A "CREATE YOUR OWN CLOUD EIGHT POST" FEATURE. YOU ARE SET UP FOR A GOOD START, AS ANY STORY THAT STARTS WITH SHOWERING AND PEEING IS NATURALLY GOING TO BE HILARIOUS. GOOD LUCK, AND, NOW, BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING.

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What I said: “I have no idea.”

See, this parenting stuff is a breeze.

P.S. If you added up the percentages above and were tempted to point out that they totaled 110%, you: (1) have way too much time on your hands; and (2) must be a bad parent because all good parents know that if you aren’t giving 110% your kids will end up in the juvenile home.