The Club Scene

While the rest of you have probably spent your recent Saturday nights maybe renting a movie or doing something equally tame, we have been out hitting the club scene. Well, one Club in particular. You would be in awe if you saw it - huge cavernous place, with a whole wall of flat screen TV's, all showing the same thing (hello mindfreak!). It is too hip to have a "theme" per se, but if you pinned me down, I would say that its theme is supersized consumer goods - with authentic reproductions of food and household items on steroids stacked in row upon row and rising towards the heavens in an effort to make you feel tiny - Alice in Wonderland style (mindfreak no. 2!). Some sort of ironic commentary on American consumer culture I suppose. And did I mention exclusive? I have a card that I flash at the door and am waived right in, but if you just showed up for the first time, no way you get in unless you are willing to pay. I keep my VIP status intact by dropping loads of cash at the place every time I go. This time, my night out cost about $500, and that was without even hitting the jewelry kiosk that they have on premises for those inclined to buy their significant other or new Club friend a bit of bling on the spot - a stroke of marketing genius. While Deanna and I have been known to hit the Club for a night out, we have recently gone with the whole family in tow, as kids appear to be a trendy Club accessory right now. I would have been wise to hit the jewelry kiosk during our last visit, because as our little accessories were gulping down some of the retro-chic hot dogs, I saw some dude with a funky American-flag hearing aid (as if the music wasn't already loud enough!) and crazy wisps of gray hair chatting up Deanna. He claimed he was only commenting on how cute our kids were, but I didn't buy it, and challenged him to a fight in the "radial room", a room of the club where the walls are stacked with tires (mindfreak no. 3!). He backed down and the night proceeded without further incident, other than the usual crazy fun. Anyway, I hear the owner of the Club, one Sam Walton, is opening these things everywhere, so keep your eyes open locally. If a Sam's Club opens near you, you can be as cool as me next Saturday night.