When we first moved into our neighborhood four years ago, Owen was a bit past three years old. Our block at the time was chock full of little boys, including another Owen the same age as ours. Our neighbors were for the most part welcoming sorts and I remember that as the weather warmed, we were invited to an outdoor shindig where we first got to know the families on the block. Owen gamely joined in with the crowd of boys his age and older, his first social foray into our new neighborhood, and one of his first in general outside what until then had been a fairly insular circle of relatives and close friends and his mates from daycare - a protected and idyllic little world. When we were leaving the neighborhood party, one of the older boys shouted "Goodbye Owen." He was talking to the Owen who had always lived on the block but our little guy, thinking he was talking to him and that he had made a new friend, stopped, turned around, walked up to him, and gave him a big goodbye hug. Owen couldn't see but the kid's facial expression was essentially "what the *$&% is this new kid doing." That moment is seared in my memory because I remember thinking how little and innocent and good Owen was and how much I hoped that the kid he was hugging wouldn't say out loud what his facial expression was saying. He didn't, but I knew it wouldn't be long before the world started seeping through the protective emotional cocoon that we are able to construct for our toddlers.
Tonight, as we were all reading books and Deanna was quizzing Owen about his day, he suddenly let forth with weeks of drama between himself and his close friends, as he and another boy jockeyed for the position of "best friend" of a third boy. Owen, usually so quietly popular, happy, and confident, was suddenly wracked with anguish and the sudden feeling that the boy he naively and happily thought was going to be his best friend for life was being stolen from him. His wails of sadness and loss as he told of minor cruelties were truly heartbreaking - a sudden and painful reminder to us as parents that the world is at its core a rough place, and that no matter how much we want to protect our little guys from the crueler lessons of life, life is going to be teaching those lessons whether we want it to or not. The emotional ride-along we are in for as parents is, I suddenly realize, going to be almost as painful as when we went through it all ourselves growing up. Part of life, I know, but couldn't someone of told me about this tough part of the job when we applied?
1 comment:
The Grey Wolf is moved by this touching and sad rendering of the pain of human childhood.
Feeling the anguish as if Owen was one of the Grey Wolf's own.
Left with no motivation for much of a thoughtful response; keeping it simple: "Hugs to Owen."
* Disclaimer - The Grey Wolf is an independent blog comment poster and is neither affiliated with nor endorsed by Cloud Eight. On the other hand, Cloud Eight does acknowledge the superlative wisdom and boyish good looks of The Grey Wolf * End Disclaimer
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