Best! Wife! Ever!

One year and three months past my 40th birthday, Deanna threw me an awesome 40th surprise birthday party this past Friday. Not only were 50 or so of my very favorite people there, she hired the incredibily talented Robbie Fulks, our favorite performer, to play in our backyard. With the kids all disbursed out to various grandparents, I had a rip-roarin good time until 2 a.m., as, I hope, did everyone else. Deanna has now earned the title of Best Wife Ever! for the foreseeable future.

The following day, we were off to Springfield for my Grandmother's 91st birthday spectacular, an event long known for its oppressive heat and humidity and family infighting. On Saturday night, as I stood, still vaguely hungover, in the bathroom of a Springfield hotel, washing the day's grime off of baby bottles in the bathroom sink, and about 16 crying and whining jags past my daily tolerance level for such activities from our severely overtired kids, I reflected wistfully on how much cooler my life had been 24-hours ago.

I suppose that sounds a little selfish, and it is true I am often selfish, a prime example being my periodic complaining about not having had a fun 40th birthday despite the fact that we were one week away from moving and Deanna was 7 months pregnant at the time. But, as awesome as it is to be a father and a family, it is also important to remember that we are individuals, and a couple beyond who we are as parents and who we are at work. Beyond the obvious - the fact that my wife is wonderful and apparently still digs me enough to do something really special for me - the party served to remind me that I was, and still am, when time actually permits, the person who once upon a time had cool friends and outside interests and that we were a couple who had a hell of a lot of fun even before being blessed with our little guys. So, considering how much of ourselves we devote to our children and the time we invest in making their lives as great as we can, I don't think it is unreasonable to want a little something for myself now and again, to see those friends and pursue those interests, as doing so contributes to my happiness and thus theoretically makes me a better parent.

Having written the above a day or two earlier, it strikes me that this whole "a happy parent is a good parent" thing is really a pretty good rationalization for more nights drinking until 2 a.m.!