Milk-Post

So, let's say you are employed as a marketing consultant by the Midwest Dairy Association. The Association rings you up one day and asks you to come up with an idea to increase the health profile of chocolate milk. Charged with this task, would you, in a million years, come up with the idea to try to position chocolate milk as the new Gatorade? And, assuming you took such an ambitious tack in your assignment, would you decide that the best way to position chocolate milk as the new Gatorade would be to create a fictional race of small green stuffed monsters, called ChocoNoGos, and to spread the word that ChocoNoGos are "a group of creatures that live to sabotage athletic performance by draining athletes of nutrients" and that these creatures "hate physical consistency, excellence and chocolate milk"? No? You wouldn't? Well obviously you are not thinking far enough out of the box to be a highly paid (or perhaps soon to be unemployed) marketing consultant.

From the annals of failed marketing campaigns I bring you "ChocoNoGo."

For those of you who are without the means to clink on the foregoing link to watch this video in all its glory, it features athletes who are flagging in their performance. Why? Well, quite obviously because they are chocolate milk deprived - that devious little devil ChocoNoGo is up to his usual tricks! Now right off you can see that this is a dubious premise. I mean this whole convoluted reverse psychology idea that a lack of chocolate milk is what will prevent athletes from achieving good performance is illogical and vague and simply makes no sense. Did they really think they would be able to convince anyone but the most gullible athletes to reach for the chocolate milk instead of water or gatorade following a workout? Oy. The fact that this video link has only had 200 something views should give you a clue. And what is up with the narrator? What kind of accent is that supposed to be?

Speaking of gullible, however, ChocoNoGo could not be a bigger star among the 5 - 8 year old demographic here at RedPlanet. At the State Fair a couple of years ago, a Midwest Dairy Association representative (or a carnie, I can't remember which) handed the boys a stuffed ChocoNoGo. In the ensuing months, the boys would fight over him all the time for some mysterious reason. When the boys insisted to us that he was actually called ChocoNoGo and Deanna and I did not believe them, we found the video, and this other video, (the English angle the Association decided to pursue in this one is puzzling as well), both of which the boys have delighted in watching numerous times. In fact, I would wager that our house alone accounts for approximately 5% of the total views of these ChocoNoGo videos. Still, it is one thing to race around the house yelling ChocoNoGo at each other, and quite another to actually demand a thermos full of chocolate milk to bring along to your little league game so you can really maximize your athletic performance. The latter demand has yet to happen, by the way, despite the boy's love of ChocoNoGo. Nor has the peak athletic performance happened either though? Hmmm. Worth a try? Could Owen's little league teams 2-9 record in reality be due to a ChocoNoGo infestation???? Drink for thought indeed.